Wedding Etiquette - 1
Good Manners is the language of graciousness and hospitality. Knowing your manners is essential when organising a wedding (even when you are a guest!) to make everyone feel welcome and completely at ease.
In the first lesson of our online course "Good Manners at Events: Weddings!", with Giulia Carli, an expert in Etiquette and Style, we talked about the level of formality and explained the difference between the rules of a religious or civil ceremony and the guidelines for social interaction between guests.
The former pertain protocol, the latter are a matter of etiquette.
What is more important when planning a wedding, etiquette or protocol? To answer this question, it is important to know the exact meaning of these words:
Good Manners are the customs and traditions that guide the interactions between people in a social context. They apply to the social sphere and to hospitality. They are closely related to the historical period, the country and the situation in which they are applied. Good Manners refer to the attitude we have towards the people we interact with, so we talk about graciousness or, better still, "good manners".
Etiquette, aka Galateo in Italian, from the famous Galateo, overo de’ costumi, the courtesy book written by Giovanni Della Casa around 1550, is a written set of conventional rules of personal behaviour in polite society and the earliest example of this literary genre. The title, from the name of one of Della Casa gentlemanly friends, monsignor Galeazzo, or Galatheus, Florimonte, entered into the Italian language as a general term for social etiquette.
Protocol, on the other hand, regulates relations between institutions and not between individuals. Individuals are not single entities but represent an institution or a nation. Protocol is the formal written etiquette and code of behaviour and procedure for state, diplomatic, and religious ceremonies. Protocol rules are much stricter than those of social etiquette. If an unobserved rule of etiquette can lead to a misunderstanding between friends, a Protocol misstep may result in a diplomatic incident between states.
It is also very important to divide social occasions into three levels of formality:
- Formal occasions (e.g. weddings)
- Informal occasions (e.g. christening ceremonies)
- Casual occasions (e.g. dinner with friends)
Understanding the level of formality of the occasion in order to adapt our behaviour AND look (we have dedicated a specific course to this subject! Ready to learn more? Email us for more details.)
Guests are going to get their first impression of the event from the save-the-date cards and wedding invitations, so style and details cannot be overlooked. Here, striking the right balance between personality and protocol is a must. Last but not least, in order to make a wedding up-to-date and elegant, a little attention to the subject of the wedding gift registry and gifts in general is necessary: small oversights in this area can result in major let-downs, if not out-and-out faux pas!
There is no such thing as the perfect gift, but there is an elegant way of giving or suggesting a gift. The Wedding Gift Registry is a relatively recent practice, but it has spread rapidly as it is very practical (as etiquette dictates): it helps both the giver and the recipient. Mention of it can be included in the invitation with an appropriate card. No direct reference can ever be made to anything money-related, although the bride and groom should take care to provide options to suit all price ranges.
We remind gift givers that a heartfelt, handwritten note can make any present special. And to the recipients, please remember that an equally heartfelt handwritten thank you note should be sent out as soon as possible.
In the second lesson we talked about one of the most delicate aspects of a wedding: the style of the participants! Giulia took us through the dress code rules to avoid making mistakes and risking feeling ill at ease! But for all the details, don't miss our next column.
Photo © H4PH - The White Day
In the first lesson of our online course "Good Manners at Events: Weddings!", with Giulia Carli, an expert in Etiquette and Style, we talked about the level of formality and explained the difference between the rules of a religious or civil ceremony and the guidelines for social interaction between guests.
The former pertain protocol, the latter are a matter of etiquette.
What is more important when planning a wedding, etiquette or protocol? To answer this question, it is important to know the exact meaning of these words:
Good Manners are the customs and traditions that guide the interactions between people in a social context. They apply to the social sphere and to hospitality. They are closely related to the historical period, the country and the situation in which they are applied. Good Manners refer to the attitude we have towards the people we interact with, so we talk about graciousness or, better still, "good manners".
Etiquette, aka Galateo in Italian, from the famous Galateo, overo de’ costumi, the courtesy book written by Giovanni Della Casa around 1550, is a written set of conventional rules of personal behaviour in polite society and the earliest example of this literary genre. The title, from the name of one of Della Casa gentlemanly friends, monsignor Galeazzo, or Galatheus, Florimonte, entered into the Italian language as a general term for social etiquette.
Protocol, on the other hand, regulates relations between institutions and not between individuals. Individuals are not single entities but represent an institution or a nation. Protocol is the formal written etiquette and code of behaviour and procedure for state, diplomatic, and religious ceremonies. Protocol rules are much stricter than those of social etiquette. If an unobserved rule of etiquette can lead to a misunderstanding between friends, a Protocol misstep may result in a diplomatic incident between states.
It is also very important to divide social occasions into three levels of formality:
- Formal occasions (e.g. weddings)
- Informal occasions (e.g. christening ceremonies)
- Casual occasions (e.g. dinner with friends)
Understanding the level of formality of the occasion in order to adapt our behaviour AND look (we have dedicated a specific course to this subject! Ready to learn more? Email us for more details.)
Guests are going to get their first impression of the event from the save-the-date cards and wedding invitations, so style and details cannot be overlooked. Here, striking the right balance between personality and protocol is a must. Last but not least, in order to make a wedding up-to-date and elegant, a little attention to the subject of the wedding gift registry and gifts in general is necessary: small oversights in this area can result in major let-downs, if not out-and-out faux pas!
There is no such thing as the perfect gift, but there is an elegant way of giving or suggesting a gift. The Wedding Gift Registry is a relatively recent practice, but it has spread rapidly as it is very practical (as etiquette dictates): it helps both the giver and the recipient. Mention of it can be included in the invitation with an appropriate card. No direct reference can ever be made to anything money-related, although the bride and groom should take care to provide options to suit all price ranges.
We remind gift givers that a heartfelt, handwritten note can make any present special. And to the recipients, please remember that an equally heartfelt handwritten thank you note should be sent out as soon as possible.
In the second lesson we talked about one of the most delicate aspects of a wedding: the style of the participants! Giulia took us through the dress code rules to avoid making mistakes and risking feeling ill at ease! But for all the details, don't miss our next column.
Photo © H4PH - The White Day
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