Good Manners are a language that speaks of kindness and hospitality. Knowing good manners is essential (even when you are a guest!) when organising a wedding that will ensures everyone feels welcome and completely at ease.

In the second lesson of our online course "Good Manners at Events: Weddings!", together with Giulia Carli, an expert in Etiquette and Style, we discovered the rules of the dress code so that we can always be impeccable and avoid feeling out of place.

One of the most delicate issues at a wedding is the style of its participants.

Who are the main players in a wedding? Here is a short list:

• The bride and groom;
• The maid of honour and the best man;
• Parents of the bride and groom;
• Bridesmaids and groomsmen;
• Page boys and flower girls;
• All other guests.

Today's fashion offers such a wide variety of options that one can sometimes feel lost in choosing the right outfit. This is true for the guests and, even more so, for the bride and groom themselves and their families, who will be the centre of attention and will have to be particularly careful in choosing their attire.

Before discussing the dress code in detail, it should be made clear that there is no such thing as the perfect dress, not for the bride or groom and definitely not for the guests. There is only the outfit  that is best suited to the occasion and the individual wearing it.

That being said, we can get to the heart of the matter and offer some useful indications for understanding the  rules of etiquette concerning the dress code. 

Knowing the rules of tradition will be indispensable in order to follow them or, why not, to decide to flout them, intelligently and consciously.

In the previous lesson we learned that formal occasions are divided into three levels of formality: formal occasions, informal occasions and casual occasions. A wedding is undoubtedly one of the formal occasions.

The codes related to formality are: 

• Uniformity;
• Brightness;
• Consistency in fabrics;
• Consistency in shapes;
• Light colours for daytime, dark colours after 6pm;
• Skirt length;
• Suitable accessories ( hosiery, shoes, bags, jewellery);
• Subtle makeup.

Be careful not to confuse "formality" with the fashion rules for "sensuality", or "showing off". These pertain to elegant but not formal convivial occasions (e.g. a New Year's Eve celebration with friends).

Let's then talk about  the bride. The wedding dress should reflect the bride's personality and enhance her beauty. 
The bride should be guided through a process of aesthetic awareness that will help her understand how special her beauty already is. In particular, it may be useful to assess a number of the bride's aesthetic characteristics in order to carefully select the most flattering gown:

• Match the colour of the gown to the bride's  skin undertone;
• Analyse shapes and lines;
• Coordinate the style of the gown with the bride's personality and the style of the wedding.

The groom's suit will necessarily be coordinated with the bride's gown and the level of formality of the wedding. Understatement should dictate the guidelines here.
 
The best man’s and groomsmen’s suits should match the groom's and possibly the suit of the groom's father and brothers. 

The dress of the maid of honour and bridesmaids should follow the rules of formality more strictly than the other guests. Their outfit must necessarily be defined with the bride and groom in advance and coordinated with that of the closest female relatives. 

Last but not least, pageboys and flower girls: from Italian tradition to current trends from the Anglo-Saxon world.

To wrap it up, here are some guidelines to avoid the most common mistakes:

• Do not wear white, black or purple;
• Do not wear hemlines shorter than knee length and no bare legs;
• Do not wear flashy accessories and evening bags;
• Do not wear hats or hairstyles that may obstruct the view. 

Finally, in the third part of this feature, we will deal with one of the topics that we are most passionate about when organising a wedding: the reception and the style of the table! Giulia has taken us through the secrets of an elegant table and impeccable reception.

For all the details, don't miss the next article!

Photo @ H4PH The White Day